Thursday, January 8, 2009
1927!
This is the year I took a roundtrip vacation, ending where I had once begun and beginning in a state of exasperation only a fizzy drink could cure. Where had I gone? This matter is of no importance to my main point: the series of bangs in the atmosphere (indeed they sound like bombs) is constant, especially during sleep when I, alone, tucked into a quilt-comforted bed, shiver with delight for the prospect of morning. This activity lasts between the hours of 2-5, respectively. And what should be said of this? Either: trees in Wyoming make me restless/ please bring me a glass of water/ what cloth to wrap around your pole. Figuratively speaking, it is the ringing phone that keeps beige horses from dragging me into sleep.
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2 comments:
a.g,
I love "shiver with delight for the prospect of morning"
but believe it may read more easiliy with "at" the prospect.
That's up to you of course.
I also love your funny way of measuring time:
"This activity last between the hours of 2-5, respectively."
You sound like a scientist.
And this is definitely a male voice to me. Do you agree?
I want you to come out and ask me (the reader) a startling question where you now have: "And what should be said of this?" Would you consider another question there?
Of course the beige horses are my favorite. Not many people know to call horses beige but that's exactly what some of them are.
More to be said on this one, and where you were when you wrote it-
xoxo, mollye.
I like the way context gets built in the poem, but then gets taken away. Initially, I didn't like
1.) This matter is of no importance...
2.) And what should be said of this..
but after a couple reads, they seem justified.
I think as a framework for the entire poem, a letter form might help to clarify who the narrator is speaking to and why the content of what they're saying has value to the person they're speaking to.
The big question in my mind with your recent work(s) is what gives each poem value beyond the impressive panoply of images and surprising progressions. I don't know about this in my own work either.
Also, "respectively" and "figuratively" create little pockets of disturbance.
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