When No One Is Anywhere Near You

If I
okay here I go
If I
am lying in my bed
about to sleep
rolling through sheets and past lives
is that serious? I mean
just that and I mean more
like What If This Is Last Night?
What are the other girls
shutting their hairy eyes
(and the boys,
not next to them)
?

What are the murderers up to tonight?
That’s what I want to know.
They are fixing themselves a hot snack
and sweating I’m sure about debts.
They are next door
and through more doors!
and that’s ok.
I should sulk more.

That's what I said to a friend
last night over tea.
I really should. When I’m at the edge
of my edge and tears are painting
down my face and (or)
I’m almost asleep
should I hesitate closing all the way?

There’s that frozen tree I tried to draw
and the coins in my pocket I felt!
Here are the Czech archways again!
And English horses tied to ropes!
It’s not exactly fear….
It’s not exactly fear!
As I picture myself not quite anywhere.

I’m slicing open a fish for dessert
seeing that its scales sort of pile
on the inside too (I prefer living
fish you know)
but really this is serious
tiny thoughts frost over
and even if you reheat them
never come back the same.

Off Any Island, It Is January

A chunk of wing
in everyone’s shoes.
All is as it should be where it's tropical.
I slip my mouth around
the mango’s thickish tongue,
her western saddle
perfumed butter and hair.
It is all over my mouth
the yellow smell
and her undone purse!
I am almost completely through
to the kayak bone when
a fly lands on the surface!
One time! Forever!
Jupiter & earth!
I swish her away (the fly)
because I need that part.
When I drop her in the water
(the mango)
her armless body falls
just like someone
she will make a cloud
on the ocean floor.
Isn’t that fair?
I for an instant (not the fly)
decide the seeds!