Monday, December 1, 2008
Quick, Pivot!
Five toads hit me in the head as I was on my way to the attic. It is a law in our town that toads are free to roam the sky, and at night, they rest in the police station. I just finished writing my letter of petition for an application to send a letter of complaint, and I am exhausted. There must be something in the water tonight, because the tea I made smells like seaweed. In fact, flowers are decaying in my yard. Ever since my doorbell broke, there has been a consistent knocking at my door. Yesterday I opened the door to find a few orphans staring at me with their fists in the air, as if ready to knock. If it's not toads hitting me in the head, it's chamomile seaweed, or orphans! The orphans quickly pivoted and clocked each other in the nose. I closed and locked the door. Enough of this mad, mad town. Too many toads in the air tonight, I'd better start sleeping in the attic.
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3 comments:
i like those fists in the air. they stay.
I love this poem, Alina. I can't remember what comments I wrote down when we workshopped this in class but I really enjoy the mood that permeates throughout it. So ominous! I'd take another look at the end of the poem after "If it's not toads hitting me in the head, it's chamomile seaweed, or orphans!" The ending risks explaining the poem, wrapping it up in a tidy package, or sounding like a punchline. But the ending is also is a nice gesture, expressing the speaker's frustration at living in such a "mad, mad town" in the first place. I also love the line "Too many toads in the air tonight". Hope that all helps and thanks for sharing!
G
Thanks guys!
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